Sunday, May 31, 2009

Me Bit Daddy

Well after a busy day mowing the lawn, I was out for my evening floor time............. Daddy was sitting on the sofa with his feet hanging over the edge, I couldnt resist so I bit his big toe.

He screamed like a girl and I didnt even draw blood hmpppffff

Me got sent to bed

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Cutting Nails

I the wild us guinea pigs would keep our nails short by walking on hard surfaces, while this would still be the ideal way to keep nails short the modern lifestyle doesnt always allow it.

We have to trust the humans (eeeek) to cut them down for us.

Mummy says she is glad my nails are clear as dark nails scare her.

What mummy does is she sits me on her lap and distracts me with romaine so that I am not watching what she is doing, then she carefully cuts a little bit of each nail, we do this little and often.

With clear nails the humans can see where the quick ends (this looks like a dark pink line in middle of nail) if a human cuts the quick it hurts and we bleed (this means we can guilt trip them for ages heehee)

If your quick is cut the humans can use a styptic pencil or dip the toe in cornstarch or flour to stop the bleeding, dont worry its not that serious and you get lots of sympathy food.

With dark nails your human should only cut a little bit of the ends each time as its not obvious where the quick is.

Some humans put a brick under the water bottle so the piggy wears the nails down on the brick, mummy says she cant do that as I am so silly when I popcorn I would probably bash my head on it.

Mummy's top tip is, you dont have to do all the nails at once, if I am too restless or agressive she will stop with the ones she has done and come back to the others another day, sorted.

If your human trims your nails little and often you shouldnt have problems with them curling, although the older you get the more they tend to harden and curl grrrrrrrrrrrr.

If your human is afraid to cut your nails lots of vets will do it for them for a cost.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Boys Night In

Well Agent I, you must be right about that subway coz I failed my mission again.

It was all going to plan, Mummy had gone out dancing, Daddy put the TV on and let me out..........

Then he decided we should have a game, you know the sort........ sneak up on the feet and bite them before the human can chase you away, well I got caught up in playing for a long time and then I was so tired, I climbed into Daddys dressing gown and fell asleep.

I was rudely awakened by the front door opening and Mummy coming in.

I dont know how they did it, they must have known what I was planning and kept me distracted until bed time.


Will have to try again next week!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Me got Scared

Well tonight Mummy was cleaning out my cage, so I wondered into the living room to see what Daddy was doing, he was watching something called the outer limits about getting inside the human mind (pah why bother nothing interesting there)

Well I was minding my own business waddling under coffee table when the tv went beeeeeeeeep beeeeeep really loud, it scared the poop out of me.

Daddy says I ran faster than a speeding bullet into the corner under the clothers airer.

I am ok now as soon as I heard Mummy putting the hay in my cage I knew it was safe to run back home, and I stayed there all evening, that will teach the TV not to scare me again!!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Lawnmower for Hire

WARNING what you are about to see is not an alien crop circle. This is what a determined piggy can do in 2 days of sunshine!

As you can see I am not quiet finished yet and we may never have enough sun for me to finish, but I am determined once it is complete, this little blonde lawnmower will be up for hire.

I will show Mummy I can make my fortune yet!!

[caption id="attachment_69" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Freshly Mown Lawn"]Freshly Mown Lawn[/caption]

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Guinea Pigs are Rodents

Rodentia is an order of mammals also known as rodents, characterised by two continuously growing incisors in the upper and lower jaws which must be kept short by gnawing. (Wikipedia)

We are rodents, this means our teeth are always growing to stop them over growing we need to gnaw alot.

Good things to gnaw grass and hay, this helps keep teeth worn down as well as being yummy.

Bad things to gnaw headphones- Daddy was not happy the first time I gnawed through his headphone wires he was very unhappy the second time!!

Warning to humans if you leave something where a guinea pig could gnaw it a guinea pig WILL gnaw it!! BEWARE

Make sure the humans learn coz we wont.

What do you guys gnaw?

Monday, May 25, 2009

Fun with Beetroot

For all you piggies who thought that beetroot was just for eating thats not so;

1) Beetroot makes good makeup, girls can use it subtly as lipstick and blusher while boys can use it outrageously if there is a Cavy Cavaret in town.

2) Halloween- Beetroot can be used to turn an innocent little piggy into SCARY VAMPIRE PIGGY hahaha

3) You can create works of art with the pretty purple poops it makes you have

4) Worry the humans, if you stand on beetroot it turns your paws pink and if you have a light surface to walk on you can leave pink paw prints, that really worries humans heehee

5) Dont panic if your pee is reddish this is beetroot stricking again.

[caption id="attachment_60" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Beetroot Blusher for Cavy Cavaret"]Beetroot Blusher for Cavy Cavaret[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_61" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Scary Vampire Piggy"]Scary Vampire Piggy[/caption]

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Mission Failed

Well Agent I, I tried my best last night to get behind sofa.

Daddy was tired after eating lots of food (I know the feeling) only Mummy was on guard and she was reading a book.

I ran through my pop up tunnel to show I was just playing, then I went under coffee table and washed and made like I was settling down for a snooze. When she stopped looking I stretched out real far with my belly right on the floor and crept slowly toward sofa, I got to the plastic but when I tried to move it with my teeth it made a noise.

I had to run away and pretend I had never been near it.

Will have to wait until Mummy goes out dancing and Daddy is guarding alone as he will never hear over noise of TV heeehee

Will report back soon

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Good Source for Vitamin C

Here is a list of good sources for Vitamin C with a unique Fugly rating, if I am missing any let me know and I will get the humans onto it at once!!

Beetroot (super yummy)
Broccoli (ok but only occasionaly)
Cabbage (ok but too much can cause gas not good on a date)
Carrots (yummy especialy with the green tops attached)
Cauliflower (only if I have nothing else to eat)
Celery (yummy especially leafy bits, make sure humans chop it small)
Cucumber (nearly yummy like middle bit best)
Green Beans (ok if nothing else on offer)
Lettuce (super yummy especially romaine, not too much as laudanum makes you sleep)
Parsley (yum)
Sweet peppers (super yummy especially the red ones)
Tomatos (yummy but messy not too many due to acidity)
Apples (ok not too much due to acidity)
Banana (yuck me not like, does anypig like?)
Melon (yummy but have to share with mummy not fair)
Blueberries (yummy a few at a time)
Oranges (ok again just a bit due to acidity)
GRASS (super yummy fresh has more vitamin C but dried still has some)

GRRRR Modern Technology

Me and Mummy is cross.

MSN is being naughty again and saying our account is closed due to violating terms and conditions (and this time I havent even mentioned our plans to take over the world)

Mummy says she has completed the form and to give them 24 hours to come back to us grrrrrrrr.

So if you cant get hold of me blame the humans and their stupid modern technology

Grumpy Agent F

Friday, May 22, 2009

Whats behind the sofa?

Well fellow guinea pig spy's I have found a conspiracy in my home, the humans have a large thing to sit on called a sofa (this is fine it keeps them off the floor out of my way)

The problem is although it makes a perfect tunnel I am not allowed behind it!!

It is well guarded blocked by a box at one end and some sort of plastic at the other, sometimes I get close enough to chew the plastic but then the guard (mummy) chases me away.

My question is whats behind there and why cant I see it??

Have any of you got similar problems?

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Dandelions are not Weeds

This is a hard lesson for the humans to learn, as soon as they see the lovely shape of a dandelion leaf or the beautiful yellow flower, their first thought is pull it up or spray with weedkiller.

You need to make sure your humans know that dandelions are yummy!!

The humans should also know only pick dandelions that they know are safe, not just any old dandelion found by the side of the road coz other humans may have tampered with them.

The humans should also wash them before presenting them to you, and remember you should not eat too many as they act as a diuretic (this means they make you pee)

My mummy is well trained she has a dandelion in a pot on the patio specially for me yay!!

I am allowed a couple of flowers and a small handful of leaves once or twice a week.

[caption id="attachment_43" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Me Enjoying Dandelion Yummy "]Me Enjoying Dandelion Yummy [/caption]

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Parsley Bells

Never heard of a parsley bell ,check it out its the bottom of the page

Where to put your parsley bell: mine hangs from the metal bars at the back of my cage in the centre.

How to eat your parsley bell: stand on the bars and nibble away, stand on your back legs and yank it, or put front paws on the bell while you eat it, dont eat your feet!!!

How to make sure your humans know when your bell has run out: I find cuteness works wait until mummy or daddy are watching you (no point doing this if no one is looking) then stand up on the bars like you are going to eat the bell, look confused when there is no bell there to eat (this is the key part you need to look really sad so they feel guilty heehee)

Keep repeating until new bell arrives

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

My Trademark

Every agent needs his/her own trademark, Sherlock Holmes has his deer stalker hat and pipe I have the drum roll please............... Romaine hat.

This hat was developed for a top secret party for a top agent down under in Australia and has been my trademark ever since.

Here I am modelling the Romaine hat


Monday, May 18, 2009

Guinea Pigs Need Vitamin C

Like the humans we are planning to enslave Guinea Pigs can not make our own vitamin C, this means we need to get it from our diet (by diet I mean large amount of food we eat heehee)

Fresh grass if available is good for vitamin C as is plenty of hay.

Mummy puts cranberry juice in my water, this is a good source of Vitamin C it tastes yummy and can also help prevent and treat urinary problems. Your humans need to make sure this is fresh every day.

Guinea pig foods contain added vitamin C but beware this can deteriorate over time.

Fresh fruit and vegetables are good for vitamin C and give us a yummy treat to eat, make sure you humans know that fresh food is necessary not just yummy wink wink

My favourite sources of vitamin C are beetroot (yummy and good fun more later)
Peppers especially the red ones.
Baby tomatoes (not too many coz of acidity)
Romaine lettuce (good for eating and wearing)

What do you guys like best?

My Career

I have a part time job as a lawn mower, living in the UK this job can only be part time due to the mainly bad weather we have.

I have a 6 sided run which Mummy sets up on the grass for me I am then set to work and once that area has been "mown" the run is moved to new area.

Dont worry I have a tent in there as well for when I need to rest.

Mummy or Daddy always watch me when I am mowing the lawn, they say this is because run is not secure, I think its because they want to make sure I dont miss a bit pffffttt.

Mummy says I will never make a fortune as my mowing takes to long, I dont care I get an all day buffet.

This pigture is especially for my friend Agent Happy wink wink

[caption id="attachment_27" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Me resting after a hard day mowing the lawn "]Me resting after a hard day mowing the lawn [/caption]

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Why are we called Guinea Pigs

Nobody really knows how the name guinea pigs came about coz we dont come from New Guinea (we are originally from South America) and we are in no way related to pigs, in fact we are rodents.

Our Latin name is Cavia Porcellus or cavies/cavys for short.

Mummy and her friends call us pigs or piggies.

It is thought that the Guinea may relate to the amount of money we cost when first brought to Europe, an English Guinea was a lot of money.

There has been speculation that we are called pigs because we squeak and squeal so the humans say weee prefer the term wheeking.

Mummy says we are known as pigs coz we eat like pigs hmmmmpppppphhhhhhhhhhhhh

Helping Mummy

Well this morning Mummy cleaned my home out, so I decided to help.

While she was cleaning the manly blue plastic base I stood with my feet on the edge watching to make sure she did it properly, when I was satisfied it had been done I wandered off to explore for a minute.

I heard the newspaper go in and then a rustling so I ran and jumped back in to wait for my hay but Mummy wouldnt play along she said no hay until you get out of the way. Well I had to give in and let her take me out again hmmmmppppppphhhhhhh.

Then the hay went in and she wasnt quick enough to stop me hee heee I jumped in and sat in the middle of it, then she had to put the rest in all around me heee heee.

Wasnt I helpful???

Saturday, May 16, 2009


Each evening when Mummy and Daddy get home from work I have playtime.

Mummy moves my home into a room called the living room and opens the door I can then jump in and out of my home as I wish.

In my playroom I have a cardboard chube, a pop up tunnel, a clothes dryer and a Daddy to play with.

At different times new obstacles appear like slippers or dvds left in the way, if I want them moving I start nibbling them until the humans get the message and take them away.

Playtime is spent running round, or through my tunnel, jumping over Daddy and playing chase, then I need a rest to regain my strength so I sleep under the coffee table or sneak into Daddy's dressing gown for a quick nap.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Where I Live

I share a house with 2 humans called Mummy and Daddy these are my test subjects, Mummy has longer hair and feeds and cleans me while Daddy has short hair and is good for play time.

I am an indoor guinea pig, I live in a indoor cage, which has a manly blue plastic base and steel bars ideal for chewing or hanging items such as my water bottle and my favourite treat a parsley bell.

At one end of my cage Daddy has installed a melamine shelf this was supposed to be for me to sleep under as a hideaway but I like to sleep or sit on top of the shelf and look down on the world.

I have a ceramic food bowl with a pigture of a guinea pig on the bottom I hardly get the see the pigture as Mummy makes sure I never run out of pellets.

I also have access to a playground but more about that later.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Vital Statistics

Age: 2.5 years

Hair: Blonde with white crest

Eyes: Brown

Height: 3 Inches

Length: 12 Inches if I really stretch

Weight: 3Lbs

Sex: Male

Language: Wheek

Introducing Agent F

I am an undercover guinea pig spying on humans to learn how best to control them.

I will let you know what I do in my day and what I learn about the humans.

I will also share useful information about guinea pigs as a species